Lois Cross


We regret to have to announce the sad death of Miss Lois Ruth Cross, 19 and 363 days, this morning at approximatly 1:45am.  Miss Cross had been with friends on a social visit to the Willow restaurant and disco, where it is believed that she died of a surfeit of ice cream.
Certain friends of the deceased have raised suspicions that the ice cream may have been poisoned, as it is believed Miss Cross had recieved death threats and menaces from one of her companions that night, but a spokesperson for the restaurant said "it's hard to tell as the food's always like that here."
Miss Cross is believed to have earned the wroth of the ex-chair and God-King of the Gilbert and Sullivan society, with whom she was out on a social, by revealing classified information about this gentleman's musical inspiration and abilities (or inabilities) to a friend.   She then recieved threats and what an eyewitness described as "menacing glares" from this person.  Despite revealing her fears, nothing was done to ensure her safety.
A spokesperson for the suspected killer gave a statement this morning: "Momma, just killed a girl.  Put a gun against her head, pulled the trigger now she's dead.  Momma, oooo."  He is believed to have been under the influence of alcohol at the time.
There are fears that this killing may have been used as a practice for further assassinations.  Other members of the society are also believed to have recieved death threats from this person, paricularly baritones who have a chance of playing the part the said God-King wants in next year's show, aptly named Patience.  But the current chair, one of those believed to be under threat, said, "I will survive."
We were unable to find many members of the society who were present at the scene who were willing to comment.  "We're all scared of the God-King," said Andrew Lawson, who asked not to be named. The police have declined to investigate.  "What's the point?" a spokesperson said.
Miss Cross leaves behind 3 mourning housemates and one who hasn't realised what's happened yet.


Following our article this morning, we are pleased to be able to announce that the rumours of the death of Miss Lois Cross have been discovered to be much exaggerated.  Following extensive medical tests, she was found to merely be in a deep coma, induced by her mind-numbingly boring Issues in Historical Thought discussion group.
It had been feared that Miss Cross was the first victim of a killing spree by Mr Chris Charlton (God-King).  He said today: "I don't remember killing her…and if I did, it wouldn't have been by ice cream.  It would have been something lingering, with boiling oil in it, I fancy.  Although revenge is a dish best served cold…"
Miss Cross is reported to be very confused, but recovering quickly now that the discussion group is over.

Dear child,

This made me laugh a lot.

Don't think that will save you.

I'm a very peppery potentate.

Requiem aeternam do te.

In nomine mihi, amen.

Christopher Charlton
Wrathful God-King
The Gilbert and Sullivan Society

June 2005.

Oh ok, I suppose I should write a sensible entry. Lois joined the society as a fresher for The Gondoliers 2004, owing to standing too close to the stall at freshers fair and admitting that she liked G&S. She then spent the first term thinking she would be thrown out any day for not being able to sing. Strangely this didn't happen and she hasn't managed to leave yet. A member of the chorus for The Gondoliers, Return to the Forbidden Planet, Princess Ida 2005, Another Openin' Another Show, and Patience 06 she then played Agatha (singing urgh, an alto line!) in the mission band in Guys and Dolls owing to pleading that she couldn't do the chorus dancing! She was glad to be back in the chorus for The Pirates of Penzance 2007, Kaleidoshow, W, The Mikado 2009 and You Can't Stop The Beat as well as helping with set and costumes for Ruddigore 2008. She is now terrified to be playing Constance in The Sorcerer 2010.

Lois has also been an ordinary member of committee twice (2005-06 and 2008-09) as well as society archivist during 2006-07. She also 'directed' the 48 Hour Gondoliers, (in other words did the organising and the shouting) and was chair of SCATY, the Sub Committee For The Anniversary of Thirty Five Years. Since then she has been back in the chorus for The Gondoliers 2011, and The Yeomen of the Guard 2012, as well as Be Our Guest in 2010. After a vain attempt to leave she deserted to the dark side for The Pirates of Penzance in 2013, as assistant stage manager and random techie before finally managing to leave. Probably. Ten years is enough, yes?

Member: 2003-2012

Committee Positions:

2005-06: Ordinary Member
2006-07: Archivist
2008-09: Ordinary Member

Directorial Positions:

2006: AD, 48hr Gondoliers


2004: Chorus, The Gondoliers
2004: Chorus, Return To The Forbidden Planet
2005: Chorus, Princess Ida
2005: Company, Another Openin' Another Show
2006: Chorus, Patience
2006: Agatha, Guys & Dolls
2006: Chorus, 48hr Gondoliers
2007: Chorus, The Pirates of Penzance
2007: Company, Kaleidoshow
2008: Cousin Hebe, 48hr HMS Pinafore
2009: Chorus, The Mikado
2009: Chorus, You Can't Stop The Beat
2010: Constance, The Sorcerer
2010: Company, Be Our Guest
2010: Isabel, 48hr Pirates of Penzance
2011: Chorus, The Gondoliers
2011: Fleta, 48hr Iolanthe
2012: Chorus, The Yeomen of the Guard
2012: Lady Saphir, 48hr Patience

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License