Chris Armstrong

Chris ended up joining the society as a techie for Princess Ida. The major impression he made in his first year was throwing a rugby ball back on to stage after he was supposed to remove it,[citation needed] much to the consternation of some of the cast (it ended up in the orchestra pit). By his second year we'd discovered his talent at painting bricks, a talent utilised in every set since. The Patience set indeed started another tradition which has continued to this day, that of the last coat of paint on the set still drying as the cast go on for the opening night. Not that this has anything to do with Chris's presence, of course (cough).

Chris was technical director for The Pirates of Penzance and Ruddigore. Despite the non-appearance of the long-promised pirate ship, both sets managed to solve the problem of needing two very different sets for acts 1 and 2, as well as specific challenges such as the sarcophagus which the Pirate King and Ruth burst their way through; or the need for the portraits of the Murgatroyd ancestors to come to life. For The Gondoliers, Chris was allowed to run as "Production Designer" and has made no secret of the fact that he just made the role up as an excuse to get back in the driving seat without having to do any real work. He first realised this hadn't gone quite to plan some time between 3:30 am and 4:00 am on the morning before opening night, while stuck on top of a ladder still painting the highly ambitious set.

Somewhat to his surprise, Chris was elected as chair for 2008-09. Contrary to urban legend, the acceptance speech was NOT "I was always running for comedy value, people have been wondering if I'll take the job if elected. And the answer is YES, and I'll be doing the best damn job I can!"1 Some say that this is a bid by the techies to take over the society, but others are doubtful - would techies really be capable of organising anything that complex? After his chairmanship Chris was elected Secretary for the 2009-10 committee. A scientist as society secretary? But that hasn't happened since… Wait, have you ever seen Chris and Alex Gurney in the same room together?

Member: 2004-2013

Committee Positions:

2005-06: Press & Publicity
2008-09: Chair
2009-10: Secretary
2010-11: Press & Publicity
2011-12: Press & Publicity

Directorial Positions:

2007: TD, The Pirates of Penzance
2008: TD, Ruddigore
2010: Assistant TD, The Sorcerer

Roles:

2005: Stage Crew, Another Openin' Another Show
2006: Stage Manager, Patience
2006: Stage Manager, Guys & Dolls
2008: Stage Manager, Kaleidoshow
2009: Stage Manager, The Mikado
2010: Stage Manager, The Sorcerer
2010: Techie, Be Our Guest
2011: Production Designer, The Gondoliers
2011: Guitar, Panorama: The Musical
2012: Production Consultant, The Yeomen of the Guard
2013: Techie, The Pirates of Penzance

Awards:

The Sorcerer (2010): Best Techie, Best Bodger
Panorama, The Musical (2011): Loudest Female Orchestra Member

The Amazing Minutes of Christopher Armstrong

As Secretary, Chris wrote probably the best minutes the society has ever had, ensuring that committee members who couldn't be bothered to turn up to meetings still tuned in to read the minutes. They are reproduced here (although minus the special fonts and images of many of the files) for the whole world to enjoy. There is at least one other that was set to be "the most concise minutes possible", this was an entire set of minutes stuffed into the subject bar of the committee email. The xkcd theme covering the AGM was only ever 25-30% completed, and was to feature Thomas Newby on a jet pack.

04/06/2009: Top Gear

After some deliberation, the minutes this week will be in the style of a Top Gear episode…This should really be read with the voice.

Tonight in the G&S Minutes…
Jenny apologises for a lack of bacon!
James finds the budget to go driving around America… in a tank!
Jackie tries her hand at some reasonably priced sponsorship!
And Morven drives incredibly slowly…

<10 futile minutes pass trying to find a trick to embed YouTube into MS Word without installing downloading software onto a supported campus computer. Instead, click here: http://www.youtube.com/v/4tvB18gLO8U >

Apologies
Clarkson: Now, Jenny, you said you were bringing bacon jokes.
Jenny: Yes, but…
Clarkson: ah, ah, ah… you said…
Jenny: Cock.
Hamster: That’s what she said…
Jenny: Oh, bog off.

Budget
James: I’ve asked for £1600 in grant money… to buy a rocket car.
Clarkson: But not just any old rocket car.
Houston: No. It’s going to be a rocket car… made of wood.
Clarkson: And we’re going to find out if it works. What’s the worst that can happen?

Distinguished Visitors Fund
Jenny: We asked for a distinguished visitors fund to fund some singing teaching. But it’s been rejected.
James: And unfortunately, the producers won’t give us the money to do it.
Clarkson: So we’re going to foot a £6 of our own money to buy three cars and turn them into a singing teacher.
Houston: We’re then going to be set a series of challenges…

Sponsorship
Clarkson: And now it’s time to put our sponsorship rep in a reasonably priced car! Jackie!
Jackie: Hello!
Clarkson: Roll the tape!

A.O.B
Hammond: And now with the er… news. Well, Bugatti are…
Clarkson: Wait.
Hammond: But…
Clarkson: Shut up. Morven has joined a group called York Rising Stars, who have 72 members and do shows fairly often. And some of them are, wait for it… men! We can invite them over to do Sorcerer.

And the minutes went round the track in… 6… minutes… thirty…



…two…

Point… 5 seconds!

And on that bombshell ladies and gentlemen. The minutes are concluded. Goodnight!

11/06/2009: 4chan

The style of the minutes this week is…4Chan. I’ve put a lot of effort in removing all the sensible punctuation that I can find. Readable version available on request as per accessibility laws, please allow 30 days for delivery. LOL wut?

**1: Backdrop; **
[image of a theatrical backdrop of a blue sky and a tree, with the words MSPainted: "PENIS-SHAPED TREE!!!"]

Society: We have a backdrop Possibly sell it to Pantsoc???
Anonymous: Holy fuck!!1 How much you selling 4?
Anonymous: No fuckin clue m8 LoL
Mik3y1983: Pics, or it doesn’t exist!!!1 lol

2: Studio;

[image of an expensive-looking sound suite]
actual size lol

SexyJenZOMG; We have recording time
Anonymous; U have neked piccs?
LOLPim; Is it big enough? To fit everyone in?
Anonymous: Big enough. Hur hur
LOLPim: Go fuck your palm, cockfag
Mik3y1983: lol wut? Time? Portering?
Anonymous: Portering is a non-issue as it’s open at that time
Anonymous: Separate thread for this shit
Mik3y1983: We could make CDs ourselves or possibly put them up on the internet
Anonymous: RIP PIRATE BAY!!!!
Anonymous: Pirate Bay wuz LAAME!!!!!
Anonymous: ROFLMAO

3a:Recording the show + Mics

Anonymous: Pete is coming! Pass the kleeenex!!!!!11
Anonymous: LOL FTW!
PeTeZ: £150 for the decent PA and mixing desk for all three nights
J1mmyO-M-G: I’ll pay you £125 now and the remaining £25 for the Sunday night later i claim from the society at a later date after revenue comes in. Cockfag
PeTeZ: Lol wut?

3b: Venue for the show;

[image of a stained glass window apparently showing a boy giving a bishop a blow-job, with the words "Stained Glass FAIL"]

Anonymous: St Lawrence’s (spl?) Free to host it there. Thursday to minmise conflicts with Carmelites and because people can make it etc.
Anonymous: FaGs. sundy’s BEETTTER!!!!
Anonymous: hes church is booked we’ve got 5pm to 11pm and the meeting room, church and kitchen.
Anonymous: Also asking for one or two stewards per night and front-of-house.
Anonymous: er new topic! Noobfag!

4: Off Topic;

[image of one of the You Can't Stop The Beat posters]

P&P&P&P: Will make short style programs. Have a budget of £50.
Anonymous: lol wut?

5: Apologies;
[image of the Large Hadron Collider with the words "IZ IN YOUR PARTICLE COLLIDER SMASHIN UR ATOMS!!!!!"

JEBSTER: Will be at CERN next week.
Anonymous: lol wut?
Anonymous: Fuck will you be cockfag?
Anonymous: lol cool!!111
Anonymous: u going to blow up the world?
Anonymous: it won’t blow the up world mutherfucker
Anonymous: blow the World. HURRR!!!
Anonymous: fuck you.
Anonymous: fuck your mom!
Anonymous: fuck YOUR MOM N00BFAG!
Anonymous: lol wut?
Anonymous: lol wut?
Anonymous: DOUBLE POST FUCKER!
Anonymous: pics or it didn’t happen?
Anonymous: Naked pics?
Anonymous: of a particle collider?
Anonymous: fuck you sciencefag

18/06/2009 Concise minutes (recovered draft)

See prev. disclaimers

1)Pirates: 11 replies (x2 JimK). Date selected: 18-08-09.
2)Crash: Frances St.
3)Letters for JamesG: Bills etc. From YUSU mailbox
4)Staffing:
1.Jen + Raph did MC script
2.Stewards x2 per Night. Thurs: Spud+ Daisy, Fri: Kathy + ?, Sat: ? + ?
5)Cast calls: 5pm
6)AOB: Refreshments; tea + coffee, maybe sell cake, hope Jen's Lv2 FH cert. is in date, use stewards

Asides: Jen lacks interest in NASA merchandise, should check mailbox more often, “Crash Bang Wallop”

12/11/2009: Communist Propaganda2

1: Socialist Events Form; **
The Party requires that the People to complete the Socialst Events Format least 21 days in advance of our Activity. The Glorious Leader has requested that this happens before Winter.
2: Merchendise;**
The People’s Department of Clothing Issue and Redistribution have suggested two separate orders for their items (which shall be procured from the bourgeoisie pigs). They have also suggested that we have Production themeed merchandise and Party themed items to distribute to the People.

The “treasurer” (Who shall be put on trial before the People for blatant capitalism *spits*) has noted that this practice does not generate any money. Therefore the People are asked to donate their money to the Party upfront.

As the technology of the Capitalist Americans has advanced, our “director” has suggested further improved methods of merchandise production, such as embroidary for the Party emblem on a hoodie. We cannot allow there to be a Logo Gap!

Comrade Jackie will send a message to our comrades-in-arms (FOGS) with regards to raising more capital for the Party.

3:Christmas Party;

The Party suggests having a Party in the People’s Palace of V/045 to watch Glorious films of past achievements of the Glorious Regime in fighting off the Fascist warmongerers!

4:JCRC;
To futher aid in the Party’s redistribution of its resources, People’s Store Cupboard shall be reorganised on Friday from 1800 hours. Indentured Volunteers will be required by the will of the Glorious Leader to assist in this endeavour.

The People’s Room-That’s-Too-Small-For-Anything-Else-Remotely-Useful of L/049 has been booked to facilitate this.

5:Sewing;
The Party requires Indentured Volunteers for service to the Motherland at the People’s SHOF.

6:Meetings;
Meetings of the Party shall still be held at 9.15 on Thursdays. As all Members of the Motherland are equal, all are welcome to attend. As some Members are more equal than others, only the Inner Party shall actually be welcome to attend.

7:Socs Forum;
Thus is the minutes of the Societies Forum, attended by the Glorious Leader hisherself.

7a: YUSU Fair II
The People’s Democratic Republic of YUSU have invited the Party to advertise itself. The relevance of this to the Party is disputed and shall be discussed at the next meeting of the Inner Party

7b: Large Rooms
The People’s Democratic Republic of YUSU have petitioned the Capitalist Tyranny of the University of York to release sanctions held against the People’s Palaces of Vanbrugh Dining Hall. (In English, they want to make Vanbrugh Dining Hall bookable, like that’s going to happen)

7c: Grants
The redistribution of the wealth of the The People’s Democratic Republic of YUSU must happen by the end of this Term. If there are not enough Party Members, this may have to be revised.

7d: 2nd Round of Grant Applications
Self descriptive. Beg for cash next term.

7e: Portering
The Union of Socialist Republics of Vanbrugh and the Democratic People’s Communists Regime of Unified Socialist Constitutional Republic of Derwent no longer have 24 hour portering. Everywhere else does.

7f:Keys
Mostly irrelevant banter about putting Onity cards on Grimstone House. Only really affects the propaganda machines3 of Nouse and Vision.

7g:Knowledge Base
It’s like the Internet for stupid people.

7h:LINKS
LINKS must be booked 2 weeks in advance for any “high risk”4 events or anything with over 400 people. Hence, can the Party do without this bourgeoisie strain on its resources?)
7i: OUTGOING
Would you like to go get pissed in Paris or stoned in Amsterdam?

8:You Can’t Stop The Beat
The Glorious Leader has announced that the CD for this has been done. It is lying around in Comrade Mike’s bedroom waiting to be liberated!

9:RP Training
Clarified at the Societies Forum meeting. There are “responsable persons” and there are “Responsible Persons”. The Party need only concern itself with the former as the second only applies to snobby aristocrats who drink fancy wine on the back of the blood and sweat of the worker.

28/05/2010: Conservapedia

We note some bizarre political ramblings on a flip chart in L/002. This inspires the society (well, some of the society) to add some subtle satire to the committee meeting and minutes. The minutes are hereby written in the style of a Conservapedia article. Complaints to the usual address.

The minutes of the liberal Gilbert and Sullivan Society, known for its extreme liberal leadings and pushing of the homosexual agenda, were recording on the 28th May 2009 AD5. The agenda is set out below. How this relates to Obama being a Muslim is also discussed. The society’s attitudes to the capitalisation of Hell and school prayer are also discussed.
1. Liberalism – and how we can prevent it.
2. Recording – people’s actions for our database
3. Budget – and how it is spent on people who should get a job
4. Venue – and how to put it down as a “second home”
5. Vocal Training – how to better praise our glorious leader
6. AOB – Action of Bureaucracy
7. BAR – legal kind where our daddies worked

Liberalism – and how we can prevent it.
The society first notes a need for more guns and less gun control.

Recording – people’s actions for our database
Jenny, who we can be 86.76% sure is against School Prayer, asks about how we are going to film the concert. Fellow scycophantic liberal Mark says we can do it ourselves with our own cameras (thus depriving hardworking Americans of good business from renting their cameras from Mexico). Mike suggests an issue of editing, most notably the difficulty in editing out Truth and keeping in the pro-Darwinist message.

Budget – and how it is spent on people who should get a job6
James, showing the benefits and wonders of Supply Side Economics will duplicate the budget from previous years. However, this time he will leave out the merchandise and DVDs as they essentially pay for themselves and break even. The society will email in ideas to stick on the budget to claim for or otherwise as a form of Liberal Deciet. James could continue with more specifics but we do not let Facts get in the way of Truth here!

<jokes off>
If we cannot claim cash for a new keyboard we desperately need cash for keyboard maintenance as the constant use and transport of the current one is taking its toll. This has been an issue for at least two years now.
<jokes back on>

Membership is set at £5, noting that at least 90% of it will be claimed in tax by Obama and spent funding abortions.7

Venue – and how to put it down as a “second home”
JEB has the booking form for Heslington Church. We note that Heslington Church is not a real Church as it doesn’t embrace Conservative values and promotes the gay agenda. Lucy has had no responses so far but will keep looking, James points out that it would be worth doing as many shows as possible as they are essentially free to put on (see also: Liberal Creep).

Vocal Training – how to better praise our glorious leader
Jenny, in a display of Professor Values, indicates that the fund for claiming this money may have passed its deadline but there is a small chance of it returning or us still being able to apply. As deceitful libruls, the G&S Society can attempt to claim this on the YUSU budget.

AOB – Action of Bureaucracy
Pirates trip: A doodle poll is to be set up to see when the society would prefer to go and see Pirates in Scarborough with a potential for group discount. Initial results of the doodle poll indicate that an overwhelming majority of the respondents reject Evolution.8

See also
*Liberal Bias
*Social Effects of the THEORY of Evolution
*Gay Bowel Syndrome
*Homosexuality and The University of York

14/01/2010: Starfleet Commander

Context warning: At the time, many members of the society and committee were stuck playing a Facebook based game called "Starfleet Commander". For an idea of what this game involved, see this article.

G & S
C O M M A N D E R

Getting Started

To play the game, you need to accumulate Credits, Tiberium and Room Space. You can Credits and Tiberium by completing missions for your own Society, selling stuff (such as useful technical equipment) or by raiding other Societies. Room Space, however, you can only steal from other players as the Galactic YUSU Empire possesses most of it – although there’s next to none of it anyway. You can then use these items to unlock more missions, build new things and generally click buttons to avoid the tedium of life as you know it.

Mission Outlines

1) More Money – Requires nothing
2) Social Events Form – requires 20 Credits and is unlocked when you build the Competent Secretary Droid
3) Merchandise – Costs 200 Credits per unit (you can sell them to Members for 250 Credits) and 40 Tiberium. Requires Level 4 P&P Rep Droid.
4) DVDs – Requries 150 Credits and 250 Tiberium per unit. Unlocked after researching DVD Authoring and after buying a Computer. 4+ Speed Bonus if you have After Effects (which is available after researching Bittorrent)
5) Raid Goole and Pocklington – Requires 500 Tiberium. Unlocked after researching Bus Trip Prices and building Level 2 Chorus.
6) Ruddigore – Bonus mission, requires 340 Credits.
7) AOB – Bonus mission. Can be carried out at any time at the expense of Beer Time Points.

More Money

Congratulations on finishing your first mission. Here is £400 for buying or hiring useful equipment. For additional credits, visit the following links:

http://www.handheldaudio.co.uk/pages/help.asp
http://www.radiofacilities.com/#/radio-mic-hire/4519693962

Social Events Form

The “Events Management Form” can be completed in 2 Weeks.

Complete now for 4500 Credits and loss of Beer Time Points?

http://www.york.ac.uk/admin/hsas/safetynet/Event%20Management/events.htm

Merchandise

You have made forms for mechandise! This will bring in 20 Credits per week.

Unlock the next Merchandise mission by researching Level 2 Sweatshop and Printer Technology! Please visit our sponsors for extra credits (credits received on confirmation of having bought the most sick t-shirt in the room)

http://www.tshirthell.com/

DVDS

Congratulations on researching Level 1 DVD Tech! To complete the mission build a Mike Droid. +5 Speed Bonus if you equip the Mike Droid with a Large Boot To Kick Mark Up The Arse With.

Raid on Goole and Pocklington

Oh Noes! U has failed to unlock this mision becos of HAXOR ATTAX!!! 4CHAN URLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TYPE OFFENDED INTO ENCYLOPEDIA DRAMATICA AND YOU WISH WILL CUM TRU THIS IS REAL!

Build a JEB-Bot to end hacker attack and email Goole and Pocklington for more details.

Ruddigore

This mission is locked until Competent Secretary Droid has finished researching Level 1 Society Pigeon Hole Contents.

Bonus: Job Dump

Lucy is to book LINKS. This will earn the Society Level 3 First-Aid Coverage for the Show.

ATTACK: Lighting Company

You’ve been attacked by Stupid YUSU Policy!! You will now be charged +50% on all your research and technology!!

ATTACK: ISA

Clan Leader SexyJenZOMG to respond in force (after correcting spelling).

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